Terminal cancer wasted on man who already lived in the moment

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LEXINGTON, KY — Lamenting that he wasted a perfectly good case of metastatic colon cancer, local man Josh Talbott told reporters on Wednesday that a terminal diagnosis was wasted on his friend who was already living in the moment. “When the doctors told him he had three months to live, it was like, whatever, he was already cherishing every moment he had with friends and family, and living every day like it was his last,” Talbott said. adding that life-ending illness could have been used so much more effectively for someone who didn’t appreciate the precious life given to them and desperately needed a wake-up call. “Yes, it’s sad that his time with us has been painfully shortened, but perhaps even sadder is that this could have really given someone a new lease of life and taught them to make the most of the time they had left. Why throw away such a golden opportunity to someone who has already found peace, love and joy? Give it to some bastard businessman or something.’ Talbott added that while his friend needed a miracle to survive, that would probably be a shame too, as he already believed in a higher power.

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