“This will keep the baby from getting a bath!” – Brummies share their favorite ‘mom sayings’



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As Brummies celebrate with these moms this Mother’s Day, we take some time to laugh at the quirky things they say, some of which might go over the head of a non-Brummie.

We’ve asked you on Facebook to share your favorite mother words, phrases your Brummie mama says. It made for hilarious and moving reading.

Some of them showed how funny our moms can be, while others have a light cut that shows off our particular kind of humor. Here are some of the best, shared by you!

Be sure to share your favorites in the comments section below. Happy mothersday!

Read more: Mother’s Day 2022 days out, eateries, afternoon tea and spas around Birmingham

“How long is a piece of string?”

Louise Lanagan says her favorite activity is when the kids ask how long they should wait for dinner to be ready.

“You look like you’ve been in a coal mine!”

Trudy McMurray pointed to the joke being played on kids coming home looking a little disheveled around the earcups.

“This will keep the baby from getting a bath.”

Featured by Liz Quiney, this one is used by moms who are busy with their daily chores!

“You’ve got a face as long as Livery Street!”

Another one from Liz, this one is criticism of a child who is in trouble. Set your face right.

“He never looked at the mantel while he lit the fire.”

We’ll just leave this one from Ann Patricia Smith here because it’s probably a little spicy for a light-hearted Mother’s Day function…

“It’s black over Bill’s mothers’ backs.”

Some of you have pointed this out. It is used when there are storm clouds on the horizon and you need to rush to get the laundry in.

“If you don’t stop crying, I’ll give you something to cry about.”

Ahhh, the threat of a lamp when you’re growling. Never hurt us, I’m sure. Thanks for this, Rachel Westwood.

“On the run with the milkman!”

Another mother’s joke, used when the babies ask where you’re going and it’s none of their business. Submitted by Luke O’Mara!

“Three runs around the table and a duck underneath!”

An answer to ‘what’s for tea, mom?’ submitted by Debbie Darby. But really, what IS tea?!

“If you jumped off Rackham’s, you’d fall into a brand new suit.”

Michelle Jones shared this one, presumably used to describe someone happy. The long-gone department store Rackham’s is back on our list, but less friendly this time…

“Ark to her, all dressed up like the back of Rackham’s!”

This one was named by Craig Darby and it refers to… Well… Ladies of the night, working behind the building that later became House of Fraser…

“Take some guessing doll!”

Used by mothers to ignore their babies’ ‘I’m thirsty’ moans and mentioned in our comments by Tony Cope. In defense of parents we have the best tapwerter in the country.

“Something that grows at the bottom of the garden!”

A quick answer to the question ‘what is a marra?’

“Put the wood in the hole!”

Another way of saying “close the door,” emphasized by Julie Anne. Probably as relevant as ever, now that heating costs are rising.

“All dressed up as a dog meal!”

That’s what you get when you put on your finery to romp! Submitted by Gabbie Green.

“Watch the ‘oss road!”

See also: ‘keep the ‘ox roads’ out. A tender ‘see how you go’. Many of you mentioned these.

“Any way up!”

A different kind of road! This one is used in conversation instead of “anyway…” Mentioned by Marty Mac.

“Wash your donnie!”

Even before Covid, our mothers emphasized the importance of washing our hands. Alex Cunnell named this one.

“Go and play your own ending!”

Yelled at kids kicking a ball outside your house. Thanks for this, Russell Baylis!

“It’s like New Street Station here!”

This is used when a lot of people come and go in the house. Mentioned by Sheila Wootten.

Find – Amazing sculpture routes around the Midlands

Listen – We explore fantastic days out in the Midlands that you may not have tried before on the Brummie Mummies Podcast

Watch – The huge waterfall, loved by David Beckham, less than two hours from Birmingham

To discover – The picturesque town famous for its puddings, about 90 minutes from Birmingham

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